Catherine Deveny's Five Tips For Writers

First time novelist Catherine Deveny shares her best tips for writing.

1. Don’t let the thought that what you write, think you are going to write or are writing is crap stop you from writing. If we all did that no one would write anything. Or another way of putting it: crap isn’t crap, it’s just another name for fertiliser. As Dr. Seuss says, ‘Everything stinks until it’s finished.’

2. Set yourself low expectations like writing for 30 minutes a day. Most people immediately feel they have failed because they set themselves ridiculously high and unachievable goals. My book The Happiness Show was written in 30-minute increments. And apropos lowering expectations, don’t get all lofty, just write the book you want to read. A good story is a good story. Don’t worry if you think someone has ‘done it before’. EVERYTHING has been done before.

3. Do the writing before you fold the washing. Do the writing before the ironing. Do the writing before getting dressed, having a shower or eating breakfast. Do the writing first. Because there is always something you can be doing instead of writing. Do the ironing, washing, eating breakfast, etc, as a reward for completing the writing (see my column on writing here).

4. Perfect is the enemy of good. Be a completionist not a perfectionist. It’s normal to have 17 negative thoughts for every positive thought. ‘Art is never finished, only abandoned.’ Leonardo da Vinci

5. As you’re writing, you can only see as far ahead as the headlights and that’s how it should be. Don’t panic, just keep driving. And know you’ll only be able to see the whole journey when you’re finished. ‘It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’ E.L. Doctorow

Catherine Deveny's debut novel The Happiness Show is available now as a print and ebook.

Catherine Deveny

We are disappointed about the sacking of Catherine Deveny from the Age. We’re proud to publish her books (see below!)

If you would like to express your disappointment about Catherine's sacking, please email: newsdesk@theage.com.au

You can join the Facebook group "Bring back Catherine Deveny to the Age" here:
http://bit.ly/dhSJIy

Below are links to selected articles and blog posts on the issue:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/05/05/2890855.htm?site=thedrum

http://blogs.crikey.com.au/purepoison/2010/05/05/fairfax-vs-deveny-gutless-paper-bends-in-the-wind/

http://meanjin.com.au/spike-the-meanjin-blog/post/women-behaving-badly/

http://benpobjie.blogspot.com/2010/05/for-what-its-worth.html

http://www.danielburt.com.au/

http://www.rlemay.com.au/2010/05/05/bernard-devenys-tweets-were-no-accident/

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/manufactured-outrage-is-the-real-joke-20100506-uelf.html

http://www.rustylime.com/show_article.php?id=4205

http://dowzocalypse.com/2010/05/09/miranda-devine-pulls-a-catherine-deveny

http://bit.ly/96JwqL#rogeringgerbils

Catherine's books:

For more information on the books, please visit our website.

Interview with Catherine Deveny

Catherine Deveny's latest book Free to a Good Home has just been released. The book collects the best of her television and opinion columns from the Age in 2009.

For readers who don’t know you, how would you describe yourself and what you do?

I am a serial pest and professional pain in the arse. I swing between stand up and sermon, cultural therapist to cultural terrorist. I come from a stand up background and write columns, do radio, knock up books, talk rubbish and swan round Melbourne flirting and glassing people. Mostly I feel like the little girl saying “The Emperor’s not wearing clothes.” Then flashing my undies.

I’m dyslexic, an atheist (no jokes about the dyslexic atheist wondering if there really was a dog, heard them all. Although I did find out I was dyslexic when I turned up to a toga party dressed as a goat) and the mother of three boys 6, 8 and 11. That’s their ages not their names. Living in an all male household does make me want to get a tee-shirt printed that just says WHERE HAVE YOU LOOKED?

What were some of your most controversial columns this year?

Chadstone (abattoir of souls). Two And A Half Men (the drink the date-rape drug is slipped into). Hey Hey It’s Saturday (it’s about time someone exhumed and resuscitated the festering corpse of Hey Hey. Something had to be done about the staggering deficit of blokey, cobbled up, camp-concert style content on television and the shortage of middle-aged white men with relevance deprivation on our screens. Daryl Somers is the host. Host as in organism that is invaded by a virus on which parasites thrive.) Marriage (Not married. Obviously because I haven’t found the right owner. Or the right dress.)

Which columns did you most enjoy writing this year and why?

The “You know you’re from Melbourne if…” columns. (Lanes full of people sitting on milk crates eating breakfast at 3pm seems normal. You think a massage with a happy ending means when you’re finished they give you a café latte and a Readings voucher. You’ve read The Slap and hate every character in it. But they remind you of your friends. And you would have slapped the kid too. When holding a dinner party, you know the point is to serve food no one has ever heard of, from a country people didn't know existed, bought from a little shop they'll never be able to find. The fact there’s a Chardonnay Crescent and a Champagne Road in Chirnside Park reinforces your suspicion Kath and Kim is a documentary. Your wife grows the hair under her arms but waxes her growler. Partner. Whatever. You know Sunshine, Rosebud and the Caribbean Gardens are not as good as they sound. You consider yourself a socialist yet you drive a European car and have a cleaner.)

Where do your ideas come from?

Probably from not working in an office and being incredibly socially promiscuous and a huge sticky beak. The best ideas I get are when I am hanging out with my kids, drunk, avoiding work or all of the above. See AUSTRALIA’S MOST BADLY BEHAVED MOTHERS Gallery of Shame for more details.

What’s the best show on TV right now?

Seriously good? The Wire, Nurse Jackie, Rockwiz or anything on GO! Seriously bad? Rock Of Love, Deal Or No Deal, anything on Channel Nine involving Sam Newman, Eddie McGuire or Livinia Nixon. Or anything with the words ‘Gone Wild’ on the end of the title.

If you had the power to cancel any show on TV right now, which one would you cancel?

What do you mean, “if I had the power?” Big Brother? Axed. Hey Hey? Boned. Macleod’s Daughters? Gone. One call from me baby, that’s all it takes. Or a word into Harry Connick Jr’s ear….

What’s the best thing about being Catherine Deveny?

The other day I did an interview and the first question is “Why are you such a bitch?” I wet my pants laughing! Because people find my writing voice is so noisy, bossy and rude people expect me to be an arsehole. So they are surprised that I’m friendly, aggressively helpful and inappropriately affectionate on first meetings but it does give me a licence to get away with murder at times. The best thing? Not scared of anything. Incredibly happy. I feel I have escaped from social convention and been released back into the wild.

Who should receive your book for Christmas this year?

Who will or who should? Who will is latte swilling lefties, house husbands, Crikey subscribers, Monthly readers, people who vote Green, old trade unionists, 16 year olds whose parents want them ‘fighting the good fight’, firebrands, blue stockings, metrosexuals and hippies who ride bikes with baby seats on the back.

Who should? Uptight white honkies, Christians, middle-aged middle-class white men suffering relevance deprivation, private school fans, women who change their name when they get married, shopping tour trolls and climate change skeptics. Why? To watch them recoil when they rip the wrapping paper off hoping to receive a John Howard biography, a new bible or something from Chadstone.

What books will you be reading this Christmas?

Anything with a centerfold of Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins or the Virgin Mary in it. That’s right. You heard. I’ll be chilling out over the festive season writing my one woman show for the 2010 atheist conference and the Melbourne’s International Comedy Festival; God Is Bullshit. That’s The Good News.

Best spots to read in Melbourne

What are the best spots to read in Melbourne? We asked a few of our Melbourne authors to name their favourite spots. Here’s what they had to say:

Alice Pung:

Recently, I have been reading, standing up, on the Number 19 Tram when I head to and from work. Reading on public transport is like being in a mobile pedestrian library - you get to see what other people are reading too, particularly during peak hour. And you actually get to watch people read, which is usually quite a private matter. You get see the pace at which they turn their pages, how engrossed, embarrassed or distracted they look. It is the best way to find out about interesting books to read.

Catherine Deveny:

My favorite place to read? Public toilets. It's not a book I am reading but the graffitti. Sex is ace. Sex is olden. Sex is best in the back of Holden. Reservoir Station 1981 (I wrote that). Also this. If God didn't want us to have cleaners he wouldn't have invented people who didn't go to university. Brunswick East Primary School 2009, cubicle three, prep room (I wrote that too). Also the dunnies at Mario's in Brunswick Street - Catherine Deveny Is HOT!!! (yep me again). Also love lying under a tree on a blanky with my kids at Heidi drinking hot chocolate. Love the kids book room at Readings. Great on a winter's day followed by a slab o cake at Trotters. It'd be cheaper than the movies if I didn't end up spending $100 on books every time.

Ann Blainey:

I like to read in the Fitzroy gardens - either in a seat near the Clarendon Street entrance, under a tall pine tree, or in a seat near the Conservatory, looking across at the elms along the main path.

A quick survey of Black Inc. staff revealed a few other favourite reading spots – Systems Garden at Melbourne University, Illia Cafe on William Street in the CBD, the 109 tram to Richmond, CERES cafe in East Brunswick, and, of course, in bed, in an armchair or on the couch.